The Pillion Passenger

The news

2007-07-05T19:25:00.000Z

National:

Galway. Plane crash. Two dead. Seven injured.

Dublin. History museum. Stairs collapse. Makes history. 11 injured.

Dun Laoighre. More bad weather. Little boats. Topple over. 15 injured. None seriously.

Vincent Brown. Rte Radio. Gets the chop. John Kelly. Vincent Brown. Whose next?

International:

Rwanda. Army major. 20 years in jail. Murder. Belgian troops. Part of UN. Back in 1994. Nasty. Genocide. Today. Darfur. Murder. Sudanese troops. Impotent UN. No oil. No action. African lives. Worth less. Than those in the West. Evidence? 3 year old. Abducted in Nigeria. British, white. Gets reported. African kids. Dying. Child soldiers. Child workers. Silence.

Brazil. Aids drug. 30% cost of old drug. Brazil broke trade pact. Imports from India. Prices down. Deaths down.

Sport:

United. Might sign Tevez. Might not. Loads of money. Or none. Dodgy dealings. Who knows.

Sheffield United. Appeal. Tevez decision. High court. Getting messy.

The news

2007-07-04T19:00:00.000Z

National:

Bertie Ahern. Taoiseach. Speech. Economy. Suicide joke. Figure of speech. Apologises. Suicide groups. Angry. No-one listens. Bertie jokes. People listen.

Dublin. Stillorgan. Man shot. Two arrested. Man wounded, seriously.

International:

Alan Johnson. BBC journalist. Gaza Strip. 114 days. Kidnapped. Free. Safe and well. Thankful. Hamas. Claim credit. New Labour. Credit Hamas. Americans. Very quiet.

Sport:

Liverpool. Sign Fernando Torres. Lots of money. Most expensive Spaniard. Most expensive Scouser.

Wimbledon. Raining on and off. Henin beat Serena. Rafa beat someone. Five days. Five sets.

Rafa Benitez. Grows goattee. Dodgy.

The news

2007-07-03T19:45:00.000Z

Irish News:

Dublin. Bertie Ahern. Taoiseach. Parliament. Drugs find. Cork. Bad weather. Heavy rain. Boat sank. Cocaine everywhere. Floating. More than a ton. Recovered. Unexpected. Sinking boat. Crucial hint.

Agbonlohors. Deportation. Autism. Nigeria. Appeal dropped. Deportation order stands. Plane ordered. 19 July.

International:

London. Attempted bombers. Eight in custody. Links to NHS. Everybody baffled. Australia. Man held. Apparent connection.

Sport:

Wimbledon. Rain. No strawberries. Lots of stoppages. Mauresmo. Defending champion. Lesbian. Eliminated.

Weather:

Dublin. Shite. Summer. Second best season. After winter. More sun then.

Boycott HMV

2007-06-26T19:24:00.000Z

Ok so some people are boycotting Israel and the Israelis are boycotting Hamas and somebody has decided that giving TONY BLAIR A JOB IN THE MIDDLE EAST is an idea that won't lead to extensive boycotts...and on this same theme, but with a little more moral certainty, I offer you a new, undeniably just boycott.

Boycott HMV on Grafton Street. In the last week or so these people, these tossers have been putting speakers outside their shop blaring LOUD MUSIC up and down the street. Of course the racket attracts attention, as is its aim, and to some extent, maybe it attracts some people to its shop; it repels me.

It's a horribly cynical move that disrupts the vague but genuine atmosphere of Dublin's busiest shopping street. Go away. I want to walk along those red bricks and listen to flower sellers and beggers and buskers and tourists asking aloud: where is the Spire? I want to feel like I'm outside and I shouldn't have to beg for it.

Until they remove the noise they won't get another penny out of me. I'm taking a stand on this. I might even do up some fancy badge or wristband (remember them! more cynical marketing aimed at exploiting the latent human sympathies of wealthy westeners!).

It's 2007 in Dublin on a Sunday evening

2007-06-18T18:39:00.000Z

The bus driver missed his turn. It was Sunday. We were going along a motorway, the evening time, getting cold. He missed his turn off. He'll take the next one, I thought. Net result, I walk for five or maybe ten minutes more than I'd planned. Hey. It was Sunday. The week coming to a happy end. The Dubs won. No need to fret.

Up ahead of me on the bus, it was an old one because Dublin Bus don't send the posh buses out to Dublin West, it was old and green and rickety and there was just me and some old woman and a family up ahead of me.

The woman head of the family blew her top.

-You missed the turn, she screamed.

The bus driver mumbled something back.

-You blacks always fuckin do this, she said. What's your fuckin number, I'm sick of you black cunts, what's your fucking number I wanna report you.

And I'm thinking alright lady that's a bit much. And I'm gonna say something but before I can she screams to me.

-These fuckin blacks I'm sick of them. Every fuckin week they do this.

She was burning up with rage. A peroxide blonde. Well turned out in her Sunday best. High pitched. Accent stomping all over her etiquette. Probably works local. Her son about 6 sitting there, grinning. Her husband turned out like a Burtons advertisement, egging her on. This woman. I'm thinking - you're a fuckin racist. I don't wanna judge her. I don't excuse that horrible shit but fair play - people lose their temper. But she wasn't finished. And her husband hadn't started.

Go back to the jungle, he shouted, outdoing his wife for wit and virulence. The son, only a youngfella, looked down the bus, nervous, afraid to challenge his mother, but afraid to cheer her on. I starred at him. But I didn't budge. I knew it was all wrong, of course I did. But that psycho and her husband wanted to kick someone's head in and I've been there before. No thanks.

We pull up to the stop and as he's getting out the husband tells the bus driver to go back to the jungle. He tells him how lucky he is that he doesn't kick his head in. He starts making monkey noises. It's 2007. It's 1987. We're at an English football match. Everton fans are throwing bananas at John Barnes and making monkey noises. It's 1987.

It's 2007.

Hands up. I bottled it. I did the best I could with what I had. I told the husband as we were getting off to fuck off, that he'd gone way too far. Your man just made a mistake. I told the bus driver I was sorry he had to listen to that shit. He said thanks man and closed the door.

Brian Lenihan - Challenges for the new minister for justice

2007-06-15T17:58:00.000Z

Ok so we lost Joe. And we miss him. We really do. At the Dail yesterday they all gave him a nod. Tony Gregory said the place wouldn't be the same. It won't. It will. But it won't.

Fianna Fail are still in charge but Fine Gael's muscles have gotten some electoral steroids. How hard will they punch? Not very, probably. It won't be the same but it will.

One key difference, and one that we in Dublin West hope to benefit from, is the appointment of Brian Lenihan to Minister for Justice, Equality and Law reform. This blog is of the view that Michael McDowell was a man of merit as well as obvious flaw; the most obvious being his tendency to hide his merits behind his flawed whoring of himself for publicity.

Lenihan is different. Expect a lower profile and at least the same level of progressive reform. He faces many challenges. The criminal justice system is a mess that currently jails twice as many people from the Irish underclass than our British counterparts.

Research shows that Irish crime is embedded in certain areas. Lenihan won't have to go far to find them. His own constituency, Dublin West - Dublin 15 - is a great microcosm of suburban Ireland; a clear and growing divide between the gated, well trimmed gardens of Castleknock and the fenced and unkempt patches of Corduff, Sheepmoor, Mountview and Ladyswell.

This is one of the great challenges facing Lenihan and this government - how to reduce criminality and make these places nicer to live in. How to end the intimidation, rampant drug abuse and utter disdain for community responsibilty. Of course this can't be done by the justice ministery alone - support will be needed from Health, Education and Employment. Do it right and crush the ganglands.

The other major point this blog will judge Lenihan on is prison. Obviously there are problems regarding smuggling things into prisons. It's hard to see what harm a bloody budgie does but phones have to be a no-no. A blocking system will solve that. However he must resist calls by the showboating, vacuous tough on crime lobby to Lock Down prisons. One of the merits of the Irish system is the relative harmony between officers and prisoners; this is largely achieved by letting them mix freely. An end to this policy would sharpen the divide and make prisons more dangerous to live and work in.

Furthermore on the subject of prisons, urgent reform of child prisons like St Patrick's is needed. The place is an abject failure that does nothing but teaches wild kids how to become wild adults. It is a disastorous institution, despite the efforts of staff; it has been undermined by a scandalous lack of funding from McDowell and John O'Donoghue before him. Shame on them for their ignorance. In fairness to Lenihan he set up a committee to assess the needs of Oberstown and Trinity House when he was Minister for Children. So the omens are good even if the history of the justice department is a history of injustice.

Adult prisons are also desperately in need of funding. Contrary to popular opinion, prisons are not home to lazy and depraved party animals who get fucked on cheap cider and slouch in front of plasma televisions. It is an indignity of the smelliest and lowest order to have to poo in a bucket and throw it down a drain. More education and drug rehab schemes are needed. Prison is often the first place people can get help to read and write; or get help to get off heroin. With this they have a chance of getting a job on release - without it they haven't got a hope.

So hopefully Lenihan will at least try and sort some of these problmes out. Prisons should not be social dustbins. Put criminals in them, not messers, not the homeless or the mentally ill. I wish him sincere congratulations and good luck in his new post.

The return of ETA

2007-06-06T19:35:00.000Z

It was with great sadness and regret that this blog read of ETA's plan to return to violence in search of it political goals. This is what used to be called terrorism, although of course the word has been given new meaning by the recent abundance of terrorist attacks that had few obvious or practical political goals.

The ceasefire officially ended on Wednesday morning. In reality it ended when ETA blew up part of a terminal at Barajas airport in Madrid, killing two men who were asleep in a car in the car-park. That was a grim and depressing day for the families of the dead and the whole of Spain.

Maybe in the past there was a certain romance to notions of Basque freedom, but amongst my Spanish friends, I don't see that now. One man I know, from Navarra, hates ETA. He hates that they 'sponsor' religious ceremonies. He hates that he can't talk freely about them in bars and restaurants. He hates that he is expected to toss spare change in jars to help their cause. More than anything, I suspect, he hates that he can't speak freely. There is an irony here, I think, as a people who were explicitly and brutally repressed by the repugnant Franco regime, are now silenced by the people who claimed to be their only hope.

Another Spaniard I know thinks that Zapatero, the PM, is an idiot. The Basques have enough freedom and autonomy, he says. They have their own parliament and set their own taxes. From a pragmatic rather than an idealistic point of view, he says that Zapatero is an idiot because there is no political capital in negotiating a peace settlement with ETA. Recent elections in Spain, which resulted in defeat for Zapatero's Socialist Democratic Party, bore this out.

The main reason for this is the staunch opposition of the party who grew from the embers of Franco, the Partido Popular. They call Zapatero weak and a traitor for trying to bring peace to the Basque Country. This is not a difficult point to argue, as Zapatero has made himself vulnerable to this by his public overtures to ETA. His whole handling of the thing has appeared uncertain, a little clumsy and lacking in coherence.

If Northern Ireland is the model for peace - and it is by no means perfect - then Zapatero will need to learn from Bertie Ahern's calmness, patience, persistence and most importantly, his cunning. It is in the failures of Zapatero that we see the merits of Ahern. All is not lost - but now Zapatero faces a choice ahead of next years' general election.

Risk his own political career by persisting with attempts to bring peace, or try to save his career by ploughing on with the status quo - where ETA are active, and a proven danger to the establishment and the general public. The former brings more good to more people; modern politics teaches us he will attempt the latter. Lets hope he's different.

Debauchery and depravity in Dublin

2007-05-28T18:23:00.000Z

The drunk and the powerful came together, they came with their wives and their fans, they slapped backs and winked at each other for they knew what so many had denied for so long - that Fianna Fail was going to win the 2007 general election. They gathered in groups of two and three, these Fianna Failers, and they had many things in common.

The men had a look about them. They'd made an effort, scrubbed up well, shaved with a new razor and made sure their shirt was washed and ironed. They were middle aged, 40 or 50, and had the distinct appearance of Irishmen; faintly flushed red faces, cheeky puppy fat straying over the waistline and a strut, an air, a palpable confidence that found much of its vibrancy in the releasing of some major anxiety. They had been written off, their failures were well known, they looked washed up and worn out and distinctly past it but they recovered. Rope a dope. Just when you thought they were out, they pulled themselves back in.

In the count centre in Dublin West - a sports hall with sports hall floors, sports hall walls and sports hall stuffiness - they were giving oxygen to the old timer. This old Fianna Fail fox, the one you thought was beaten, had a new tune for us all to hear. It was the only show in town, they sang. The chorus called out that they and they alone were to be trusted. And the sight of Brian Lenihan tearing past the quota on the first count was a guitar solo that the great Jimi Hendrix himself would have thought igloo cool.

Lenihan's victory had never been in doubt. When I arrived late morning he looked assured. He jumped every fence and won at a canter. But in his dust lay some Trojan mares. The newcomer, Leo Varadkar from Fine Gael. The lady of some class and genuine tenderness, Joan Burton of Labour. And the tough old orator, the man they want to label but can't hold down, Joe Higgins of the Socialist Party.

They trampled all over the competition. Mags Murray of the PDs got 500 votes and a pat on the head: Mags Murray in the Dail - no thanks! Roderic O'Gorman of the Greens, with his fresher than organic parsley face and his clunkier than tonycascarino name (why not Roddy?) could never make much of a mark in an area dominated by voters who value down to earth people rather than politics. Felix Gallagher of Sinn Fein came nowhere and really didn't lay a glove on the main contenders. Gerry Lynam, the number two Fianna Fail man, did what was expected - ate into Higgins' vote and claimed Lenihan's surplus. It must be funny being the number two - there were rosettes for Brian Lenihan and stickers for Gerry Lynam.

While the three waited to see who would take the two seats Fianna Failers walked around with grins that Pat Rabbitte would think a bit much. They reeked of drink, brandy and Guinness. They gathered and whispered. They run the country, these men and women. They are the party machine. They saw the polls and the bad coverage and they redoubled their efforts. They bought second pairs of shoes and taped Coronation Street - serious canvassing had to be done. And you could see from them, they were over the moon, it had worked, whatever their strategy, whatever won it for them, it worked. They offer people hope. That's my guess. They offer social mobility to the working classes and social stability to the middle classes and social dominance to the builders classes. Labour and Fine Gael offer social solidity. Just as admirable - and some would say more so - but not romantic, not special, not new and richer.

For Fianna Fail and Fine Gael there were no young people and no accents you would recognise as Dublin born and bred. There were young people for Greens, Labour, SF and Socialist parties. For the PDs there was just Mags God love her.

Varadkar looked confident. He led the race and was close to the quota. Fianna Fail and Labour whispered about him. Where does he get his money. How much has he spent. How did he afford those posters on bustops. If Fianna Fail were jealous, Labour sounded frustrated. Varadkar came from nowhere, he's a doctor with a weedy voice and an easy affable manner, but who is he? What's he about? What does he represent? Beside Burton and Higgins he looked like a nobody. But he's a somebody, he certainly is, whether people like it or not, he represents thousands of people - reliable, genuine, nice, of good stock, all these things a father looks for when a daughter brings her boyfriend home - Varadkar has them.

He also has a Dail seat, he took it in a constituency where the weak are swallowed without need for chewing. There are some serious operators out here. We get the government we deserve? In Dublin West we feel pretty good about ourselves on that basis. Or we did until Leo took Joes seat.

Joe was gutted, really shaken. He came to the count centre with his mother. He stood all day with supporters, rifling through the numbers. He slapped no backs and didn't laugh to catch attention. He's not on first name terms with the wheelers and dealers of the other parties. He's his own man, a serious man, but he looked rattled when he saw the figures that pointed to Burton taking the last seat.

When Varadkar won and Burton won there were huge cheers but with those announcements came the death notice for Joe Higgins TD. The man who got up Bertie's nose more than the media and the tribunals put together - he made him crack, and it's rare to get a rise our of this most calm and composed Taoiseach. Joe Higgins did a number of remarkable things for a man whose party had one seat in the Dail. Who in the opposition parties could match him for intellect, decency, sincerity, wit and principle? The truth is we need more Joes. We don't need more Leos. Everybody knew it. Everybody said they'd miss Joe. Celebrations were muted by his loss. It seemed rather tasteless for people of the Left - if that's what Labour are - to celebrate the loss of the purest expression of their ideals.

Those who voted, who came out and did the business for Fianna Fail, they won't miss him. He's everything they fear. They are conservative, that is the nature of the people who vote in this country - that is clear. Joe will be back, Dublin West is due another seat. But his extreme views of social solidity send shivers through those who vote Fianna Fail and Fine Gael. Not only does he represent equality - for them he represents inequality; they would have to give up more than the average earner for his ideas - and that's never going to happen. It's hard to see how things will ever be much different in Ireland. But at least he keeps trying. The struggle in itself to reach the heights is enough to fill a man's heart.

Political compass

2007-05-16T17:38:00.000Z

This is fun and it's working too. Spin it round and see where you end up. Make sure to check out Ireland's political parties too. Everyone is on the right except SP, SF and the Greens. You can also measure yourself against world leaders. Bush finishes dangerously close to facism while I finished dangerously close to Ghandi.

German footballers in sex toy victory

2007-05-14T13:55:00.000Z

German international footballers Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn romped to a sensational victory today over the use of their names to sell special World Cup dildos.

The lads received €50,000 each after a court in Hamburg found that dildos 'Michael B' and 'Ollie K' were named in reference to them without their permission.

The similarities didn't end there, though. 'Michael B' was found to be over-priced, prone to breakdown and lethargic if used more than once a month. The 'Ollie K' dildo flew off the handle easily, was covered in ginger pubes and repeatedly emitted a noise that sounded uncannily like 'Sheringham no!'

Ballack was disappointed with the episode but nonetheless seemed determined to play down its seriousness. "Yeah of course it's embarrassing, nobody likes to look like a dildo, but at least I wasn't found dogging some bird in Ayia Napa with Rio Ferdinand while Kieron Dyer taped it all on his video camera in 2000."

Kahn, speaking from an insane asylum in rural north Germany, said he was happy with the final result. "Playing in my position I don't get to score much so I was happy to hit the back of so many German nets, but my family name was at stake here so I had to clear this up."

Your local Spar

2007-05-11T18:34:00.000Z

It's been grating me for a while but now I know what I hate about Spar shops. It's not their outrageous fucking ubiquity. It's not their staff who bark the prices and spit the change at you. It's not the downright rudeness of never offering a receipt. It's not the coldness of it all, the horrible pre-packaged, stage-managed feel of the place, a shop that might as well come in polystyrene. It's not that their presence drives out local, family old business under the guise of progress. It's not that I never get a smile or a nod from the staff, even though I use the same one three or four times a week. It's not that I spent 20 minutes walking around town one day because I wanted to buy a roll but didn't want it to be called a 3sal/1meat roll, which generally will come with an unasked for smattering of sweetcorn, red onion or some other stinking filth. Nah it's none of this.

It's the way the cash registers are placed so that when you make your purchase you have to turn around and fight your way through the crowd that has formed behind you. I was in Spar the other day (doesn't matter which one, they're mostly the same shop) and there was lady in front of me. She had a buggy with a nipper inside. She was buying 7 or 8 things. Checkout girl, a smile free lady, gave the woman her change and said nothing. She watched the woman awkwardly trying to stuff her crap into a plastic bag she had brought with her. Checkout girl looks at me, next in the queue, as if I should give her my paper (why do they have to scan these?) and bread. But because of the checkout set-up I can't get past the woman. Awful situation. I'm thinking: take your time. She's thinking: take me now sweet Jesus. Because there's a big queue behind her and she feels like she's holding it up.

As if that's a fucking crime anyway.

But she wasn't holding anyone up. Spar were. It's a fact that they give more space over to their ice-creams than they do to their customers. A stupid little wooden thing, 2 square foot, to put your groceries on. Get them in, get them out quick. Really a horrible way to run a business. This is the stuff that puts me in bad form. You have to be ready with your bag and your money; you have to stuff the products in your bag before you get your change back; or you just feel like a prick.

Irish irony

2007-05-07T15:53:00.000Z

Irish truck drivers will protest tomorrow by staging a go-slow on the m50. They are upset at excessive delays on the m50. So they are going to delay things even more. Who knows if this info was leaked by the government or the opposition...who knows anything anymore after a bizarre weekend that felt like a month in politics.

Heads are spinning up and down the country and who knows, maybe people will welcome the perverse ambiance truckers will create on Ireland's worst piece of tarmac. The sound of engines ticking over and expensive petrol being wasted; frustrated workers beeping horns; snippets of women in suits crying they'll be late down their hands free kit; who knows, when put alongside the claims and counter claims of a wearying weekend, who knows - maybe people will support the truckers.

But probably not. Nobody will disagree that the m50 is the seventh circle of hell but who will support the truckers' action? It seems like a dumb move to me. This battle is over, the m50 is too small by at least a lane - the government knew this at the time it was being built but decided to plough on with the project anyway. It's all causes and effects; wise men tackle the former, idiots focus on the latter.

The next Taoiseach?

2007-05-06T16:19:00.000Z

Rookie coach does the business.

Come back Roy...please. Come back and save us from the avalanche of bullshit and the blizzard of spin. Bring Triggs, make him Tanaiste - he'd have more bite than the current chancer. Come back Roy and save us from the headspinning nonsense we find ourselves caught up in, a week of lies and accusations, fudging and counter-fudging, dumped on a passive public already half-smothered by ugly, grinning cut-outs of those who seek our votes and ignore our right to the truth. Come back and fire off some wit, reflect what we think, do it with an understatement that maintains the mystery around you and dispells the mysteries around us.

The Ryan Line

2007-05-04T08:19:00.000Z

As a young man I don't for one second think that Gerry Ryan aims his show at people like me. It's aimed at my mam. Gerry Ryan, for those who don't know, is an Irish radio show broadcaster.

This morning he was reviewing the newspapers. He got to the story of Patrick Holland, AKA Dutchy, the man a Guard alleged in court to be the man who shot Veronica Guerin. Holland was arrested yesterday in London on abduction and firearm charges. UK Police arrested him yesterday in an armed raid. "Armed to the teeth," according to Ryan, "no-one was hurt, all done nice and clean."

Crime is one of Ryan's bugbears. So then he mused:

"I wonder what would happen if something like this happened in Ireland. You'd probably have people ringing the Joe Duffy Show and the Gerry Ryan Show telling us his human rights are being abused and all that. Wake up folks before this country is snowed under."

Remember that Ryan and all RTE broadcasters are meant, as far as possible, to maintain a neutral, non-political position. Gerry Ryan, however, has been peddling his hard-right rhethoric for years, and he continues to do so - his only punishment being that his ratings are going six foot under.

The truth is that NOBODY ever rings "the Joe Duffy Show and the Gerry Ryan Show telling us human rights are being abused". Ryan's claim is like the one that there is a 'liberal' media in this country. It is false, a myth, a lie that will appeal to his listeners who, plump on the Celtic Tiger, want to put manners on anyone who doesn't wear Dubes.

The truth is that listeners ring him up asking for tougher sentences and Ryan bangs the drum with his vigilante timber, exhorting politicians to arm our police forces before the country is overrun by crime. Gerry likes to play the victim under siege, as if the crime, drugs or violence of the people he 'takes on' ever comes near his manor in Clontarf.

The one sided-ness isn't ideal for healthy debate but c'est la vie. What is unacceptable is the rambling scare-mongering of the likes of Gerry Ryan, a man who gets all his information from his pals like Paul Williams. He should be taken off the air.

Boiling point

2007-05-02T11:04:00.000Z

Things are hotting up all over the place. In France the two presidential candidates will have a televised debate tonight - it's live 8-10pm on FranceSur in Ireland. Should be a good old ding-dong, if you can understand French.

Newspaper reports suggest there is a huge battle for France's soul at the moment. It appears generational; over 60s are flocking to Sarkozy, under 35s are sitting in Sego's pocket. The middle ground will be crucial; will they come out and vote? And if so... for who? How strong is the Anyone But Sarkozy factor?

From my perspective he may have some answers but he frames them in a deeply divisive and provocative way and I wouldn't support him if I were French. In fact, given the apparent pride in protest that exists in France, it's hard to see how he could push through any serious reforms without the country being brought to standstill by those who oppose him. Royal gives cause for concern to those on the Left and Right...but France can at least count on her not to sell out their values and isolate their minorities.

Elsewhere Israel's PM Ehud Olmert had his arse handed to him by an independent report into his disastrous crusade into Lebanon last year. It was an utter failure that left over 1200 Lebanese dead. It exposed the limits of Israeli military influence in the region and it convinced me that they were looking for any excuse to invade the southern part of that country. I don't apologise for Hezbollah, but innocent Lebanese citizens were being punished for the reckless behaviour of their countrymen. It was a shit time all round but credit must go to the Israelis for at least dealing with it in an open and honest way. Now all that's left to do is for Olmert to do the decent thing and resign.

Local or national?

2007-05-01T12:47:00.000Z

So the posters are up all over Dublin West, no better way to see them than to ride around on 'the 39', one of the most arse about face bus routes in the western world. One question for everyone when there is a race between a clear coalition (FG/Lab) and an unclear coalition (FF/whoever makes up the numbers) is whether to vote based on national or local issues.

This is particularly important in Dublin West - Minister for Children Brian Lenihan is one candidate. He is one of the better ones, with more experience, competence and coherence than Leo Varadkar, the FG boyo. But if you want a change of government, surely you should just vote FG and Labour in whichever order you prefer?

It's not that simple, though. What if you back the FG man based on your guess that they will get into power...and they lose. Or if you back him and he isn't given a ministerial role? The whole area will suffer. This scenario is unlikely, as Lenihan is tipped to keep his seat - but it shows voting is a tricky business.

Anyway back to those posters and what they tell us. Generally I would say they suggest you should vote on local issues - most of the posters focus 90per cent space on the individual's face, 10per cent on the party logo, and nothing at all on coalitions.

Joe Higgins is framed against a capitalist blood red background - you know what you're getting there. Joan Burton, Roderic O'Gorman (Greens), Lenihan, and his running mate Gerry Lynam all dominate their posters, leaving their party ties very much in the background. There is no PD candidate out here, which leaves about 2,000 Cllr. Tom Morrissey votes up for grabs. Only Felix Gallagher (SF) is smothered under his parties' logos. This, presumably, is to appeal to those who are Sinn Fein people rather than Felix Gallagher people.

So maybe the question is not local or national, but personal or party? Considering twice elected Higgins represents a party with all the power of a rusty Lade, you can say that politics out in Dublin West is both local and personal.

The race is on

2007-04-29T09:02:00.000Z

Bertie was up with the milkman to head to Aras an Uachtarain and ask sweet mother of Ireland Mary McAleese to dissolve the 29th Dail - sitting of parliament.The Irish General Election will be held on May 24th. Let the glad-handling, schmoozing and lies begin.

They will talk about stamp duty. The Sunday Independent will tell us it is important. People who think this paper reflects modern Ireland will care.

They will talk about the environment. Everyone will care but few will understand what we can do except turn off lights, shop locally and smother your friends with pious rhetoric about the future of the planet and your children's children.

They will talk about crime. Each will be tougher than the last. None will make any difference but will seek to convince you they will. As long as they talk about being tough on crime we will continue to perpetuate it.

They will talk about these things and all a whole lot more. I will blog about them with enthusiasm for sincerity and change but crushing doubts that either will be much evident. The rule of my coverage is this: if they are open, fair and honest so will the coverage. If they are cynical, I will let them have it.

They will talk...watch how they talk. Listen to the opposition when they're asked about policy. 9 times out of ten they will respond "Our coalition's point of view has been very clear on this for a long time...". They always say this. They always try to ram home their solidarity, whether it exists or not. Watch for these masters of language, kings of deceptions...twisting, turning and fudging their way to your vote.

Watch our for bullshit buzzwords and cynical catchphrases. Think ASBO, MMR, and WMD. Ask why they have such catchy rings to them. Ask why why why. Make them work for it. We get the government we deserve; if we are lazy...

School buses

2007-04-24T16:40:00.000Z

Saw a very Irish thing yesterday. Coming around past Christchurch on a bus i spotted another double decker parked on the right. It caught my eye because it was petrol blue and had stuff painted on the back: low floor, seat belts fitted, super green school bus. It was packed full of kids. There was another double bus in front of it. It was royal mail red, and old, with a high floor, no seat belts and about as eco-friendly as that SUV blocking the school gates. It was packed full of kids.

Why is it that one set of kids gets an adequate bus and another gets one that would make the peasants of Dickens blush?

I hate this half-assed cheapskate shit. Nearly two years ago a bus flipped over in navan and killed five schoolgirls. An outcry followed. Promises were made. Every child will have a seatbelt on their school bus by Christmas 2006 said lying ministers Martin Cullen and Mary Hanafin.

Tossers. Shame on them - shame on all the reactionaries on this island who ignore the dangers of skimping on a few quid until there are children in the ground. It's politics driven by media and it's very bad politics.

Where are the new school buses FF/PDs?

Momentum

2007-04-24T16:13:00.001Z

One of the keys to good blogging, and most things in life, be they title challenges, first novels or learning to smoke is momentum. At first there is enthusiasm, then there is grind but if you have enough momentum behind you it's possible to leap from enthusiasm to grind to pleasent though slightly dull stablity. Took a few days off there at the weekend. Missed the presidential elections in France and all the other stuff. Hard to get the momentum back. Check back in a day or two and hopefully I'll have found it.

About time too

2007-04-19T10:02:00.000Z

Some good news today. Anybody with a half a brain can see that crime in Ireland is very predictable; where it happens and who does it. Now I'm talking about crime that people get sent to jail for - not harmless, victimless, tax-dodging/fraud/embezzlement or sexual assaults. I'm talking about drug users and dealers, thieves and fighters, your stereotypical, middle-Ireland, Paul Williams definition of a 'bad' guy.

So the good news. Brian Lenihan, candidate for Dublin West and a quite good one I must say, is not a complete moron so he doesn't state the above but he does act on it. Today he announces the funding for the Children's Act 2001 will FINALLY come on stream. This is less popular than ASBOs but it is much more effective in dealing with young people who get into crime (remember about 95% of children in St Pat's will get out, re-offend and end up in Mountjoy...95%! Evidence, I strongly say, that the criminal justice system is failing the Irish public).

Now we will have judges who can actually deal with 15 and 16 year olds, not condescend with arcane language. Families will also be brought in. This is to be welcomed and although the timing is spurious - six years after the Bill came in, six weeks before the general election - Lenihan deserves credit. Youth crime should not, unless it's particularly violent, be dealt with by just the Department of Justice - we need a more expansive approach that involves social welfare, education and justice. This is the only chance we have to make a better Ireland and end the cycles of poverty that are analogous to the cycles of crime.

I've left the key with my neighbour and he's promised to keep an eye on the place, but not sadly my blog. So I'll be away for the weekend and the blog will as productive as a student with a hangover. Alas I will miss blogging on the first round of the French elections - but you can keep in touch if you follow the links on the right of this posting.

The debate

2007-04-18T12:54:00.000Z

Here's the letters page from the New York Times. They're talking about the murders at Virginia Tech.

Click here for the words of a Blacksburg, VA resident. And this is from another Washington Post writer. An LA Times columnist calls, not very strongly, for leadership. It's interesting to see what they write about; more interesting to see what they don't.

Gruesome, Unbelievable, Bizarre, Unacceptable

2007-04-17T13:51:00.000Z

I was in a sports shop in West Virginia last year. I was looking around. I was checking out the camping gear. I was amused. I was surprised at how much gear you could buy just to sleep in the woods. I was sniggering at rubbery dungarees in a thousand shades of grassy green and then I was distracted by a loud double-clicking sound.

Click click.

I was drawn to a corner. I was asked if I was ok, sir. I said I was. I was standing in front of a selection of guns, a couple of hundred perhaps. I was in a sports shop in West Virginia. I was distracted by a girl and her brother. She was younger than him. She was about 16. She was holding a shotgun.

The horse has bolted but it's long been clear - the United States of America has a gun problem. And it's this: they are acceptable - their presence, their appearance, their sound, their calibre, their ability to murder is accepted in the United States of America by more people than those who oppose it.

It is morally wrong. It de-sensitises people to have guns moving freely around society. The other people in the sports shop in West Virginia thought nothing of two people checking out some weapon of mass destruction. They don't say no. They are desensitised. They accept the presence of guns. They're even at football matches when the home team scores a touchdown.

Imagine being able to buy a gun in Tescos. Imagine buying your child a gun for their 18th birthday. Imagine showing off your gun collection to friends after Christmas dinner.

You don't have to imagine it. Just move to America.

Surely now they will be woken from their slumber. Surely now someone will have the guts to honour the memory of the murdered. Surely the election candidates will get past being female, black, republican or democrat. Show some guts and take on the gun lobbies. What was right 200 years ago is not necessarily ok now - see slavery. Will the presidential candidates show true character, genuine leadership?

They must. The enemy lies within. America needs to realise that. College shooting don't happen in other countries.

There's no allowing for people losing the plot and murdering 33 people but more can be done to make it harder to do so. Questions should also be asked of the police and social services. But foremost of a country that prohibits an 18 year old to buy a bottle of beer and permits him to buy a gun.

Irish General Election - 2007

2007-04-11T12:03:00.000Z

Way out past the green fields of the Phoenix Park and just beyond the mind-crushing, bumper to bumper M50, lies West Dublin. Famous only for the odd sensational murder, it's also the fastest growing place in Ireland, with a population of over 90,000 at the 2006 census. More people than Galway city, so they say. It is the hearbeat of the new Ireland, the one where catholicism and the English language no longer dominate. There is no real history out here - housing estates are still being piled onto green space and it will take a while to see what effect all this change has. There's no-one really famous, for any reason, from west Dublin. So a place is being created, a community perhaps, a suburb for sure. It's where I live and where I will focus on for the general election.

I won't bore you with the candidates; instead, just to set the ball rolling, here's a taste of what one Fianna Fail man had to say about HIV at a recent meeting between young people and politicans.

"The reason there is a HIV and TB crisis here is because we let people into the country without medical screening. In the US and Australia you have to do a full medical if you want to emigrate there."

That was from Gerry Lynam (right - pun intended), the man with a ronnie that could shine shoes or sweep the streets, Fianna Fail's latest weapon in its war against Socialist Joe Higgins, Labour's Joan Burton and Fine Gael's Leo Varadkar. He's a decent bloke, Gerry Lynam, but is prone to populist, lazy, stereotypical rubbish. Besides pandering to fears, paranoia and uncertainty of the local electorate, he also does himself a diservice.

He has done admirable work for many years as part of the Greater Blanchardstown Repsonse to Drugs. So why come out with - what he surely knows to be - lies? Is he, a man who ran as an independent in the last election, that desperate to be elected that he will ignore what he knows and manipulate what people don't?

HIV and TB were in Ireland long before we had immigration - they were spread, primarily, by repeatedly using the same needles while injecting heroin. That's why so many people with a heroin addiction in Ireland have HIV. That's why we have a crisis - trying to lay the blame on people who can't even vote in the next election is revolting.

(Local paper Community Voice picked up on this and that's where I got it so fair play, it's a good paper).

The filth and their fury

2007-04-08T08:48:00.000Z

The Sunday Times has 'Fury as the hostages sell stories' as the lead on its webpage. This caught my eye. Firstly, this was to be expected, no? In a world where everyone from Rio Ferdinand to Jade Goodey has an autobiography, there can't have been many people watching that lady who didn't think she would 'get a book out of it'. I call her 'that lady' becasue I have tried to ignore the petty details of this facile feud - and also because that's how she is viewed in the media ("the only female sailor!" they cry - so what?!).

Secondly the question must be who is furious? From the article I got the feeling the Times itself is furious. Which is a bit rich, since this drawn-out squabble lurched to its inevitably bemusing conclusion under the 24hour, rolling and intense glare of the jingo press. Before the hostage's release every angle of the story was sold - first to the press then to the readers. But now the pig has dropped a second litter this summer and the race is on to be the first to buy and the first to sell.

I'd imagine a more accurate headline would be 'Fury as hostages sell their stories to other newspapers!'. Because you can bet your last marine that Murdoch's rags would jump on the chance to do an tritely in-depth profile of this lady, and splash all over the Sun, the News of the World, The Times and Sky News tomorrow morning.

So really there is no fury - just indifference and acceptance, as with so much of what we watch and read.

Have you seen this bicycle?

2007-04-06T11:52:00.000Z

Irish Green Party TD John Gormley's bicycle was stolen yesterday. Gormley will be the parties' candidate in Dublin south east at the upcoming general election. And according to Tom McGurk on RTE radio, none less than the Garda Commisioner himself will oversee the investigation into the theft.

Ironically for Gormley he has often called in the past for bicycles to me made freely available to rent all over Dublin City - just like in civilised places like Holland. Looks like somebody has stolen his thunder as well as his two-wheeler. I'm opening a book on who might do such a thing.

- a random chancer who never heard of John Gormley - 4/5
- michael mcdowell - 2/1
- on discovering his humour bone, trevor sargent - 5/1
- someone working for ford - 10/1
- an islamofacist - 50/1
- george bush - 1000/1

Party Poopers

2007-04-05T18:22:00.000Z

The Russian parliament has banned political rallies that have more than one person for every two square feet in Moscow. They've also banned political meetings where there are more chairs than people. They're doing it for 'the safety of Muscovites'. Rumours that they will soon ban chairs are unconfirmed.

The irony of it all

2007-03-31T17:01:00.000Z

The suburbs continue to simmer in Paris where youths rioted on Tuesday after a man was arrested and allegedly treated roughly by police for not paying his fare at a city train station.

The common, left/liberal view of these riots is that they are an expression of frustration at the state. Those on the right see it more as a sign of an innate deliquency. Either way the protests are likely to impact on the upcoming election.

The impact they have will be directly influenced by voters' political tendencies - if you like Sarkozy and Le Pen, you will probably feel that this violence proves they are correct in the harsh line they take with 'troublemakers' generally and non-white troublemakers in particular. But if you're more to the left I would say you believe that that causes of these frustrations must be addressed, in order to prevent them.

Of course the world is not as straighforward as that. Most voters, it appears from other European elections, are centerists. I would guess they are more concerned with being able to walk safely down the streets than whether or not every citizen has an equal oppportunity. Therefore it seems to me that the riots will benefit the Right more than the Left, and have no benefits at all for the people who are protesting. Recent polls seem to bare that out. The one hope is for them is that one of the main candidates will aknowledge this and take steps to address both issues. Theoretically this is an opportunity for Bayrou. Let's see if he takes it.

French election

2007-03-29T11:16:00.000Z

It's a little bit hard for me, in far away Ireland, to add anything new to the coverage of the upcoming French Presidential elections. So instead I think I will just try and pull together as much of the coverage as I can. Mostly it comes from English papers which people can find online if they bother to check. Granted that most people don't have time for all that (although maybe they do if they have time for reading this blog!) so I'll hunt and gather, just like your great, great, great Grandad did when we Irish we're under the repressive jackboot of colonial rule and had to roam the land to get a bite to eat. And he wasn't eating a fuckin panini either I can tell ya!

Anyway here's a great slideshow from the Guardian, a left leaning paper that isn't showing much support to the left leaning candidate, Segleone Royal.

Bad doggy

2007-03-28T09:49:00.000Z

Hashhead rapper Snoop Dogg has had to cancel his UK tour with Puff Daddy/Diddy after being refused a visa to enter the country. Mr Dogg was arrested in Sweden on drugs charges. He's also awaiting charge in America for guns and drugs charges.

Mr Snoop is currently on a One Love Peace Drugs Charge Tour with his friend Mr Daddy who commented: "Even though we don't agree, and we don't understand, this is not our country, and we have to respect your laws," said Mr Diddies. "What's disappointing is that Britain at the moment has a big guns and knife violence problem, and we were here to send out a positive message to the kids, because we've been through [those problems] personally."

Unfortunately the ban does not extend to Ireland and his gig will go ahead as planned.

The boys in green

2007-03-27T20:57:00.000Z

Stan named the team today. Strange. Usually they guard it closer than an italian guards a cannoli. This comes after yeserday's thirty second tantrum - Shay and Stephen are ok, but I don't want to talk to you nar nar nar na. Obviously he's a man under pressure and he's feeling it, I'd say, as he's acting funny.

He brought a lot of pressure on himself - Saturday's team showed more dodgy flexibilty than Bertie Ahern's political ideology; he put a right back playing on the left and a left back playing on the right. Then he had some fella called Douglas playing in central midfield leaving both wet and sunny weather fans to say - who? what? why? Also Stephen Ireland on the right and Damian Duff all over the shop. A mess, quite frankly, and he takes the hump when people ask him questions about it. Hmm.

Life is hard enough. Don't make it harder Stan. Play people where they're good, answer honest questions with sincerity rather than contempt and don't try and take on the media. That Lee Carsley thing was such a drag - he clearly wasn't misquoted; perhaps he thought the question was referring to changes that happened during the game. And if he did then Stan could show a bit of humility and admit he was wrong. Drop the Secret Police are out to get me so I'm not talking to you crap. It's childish. Irish fans and the Irish media want the team to do well.

Playing McGeady from the start tomorrow is a step in the right direction. Don't understand why Hunt has been left out, but maybe it's because Duff and Kilbane are lefties and he intends to interchange them. A third leftie might upset the balance. And leaving Kilbane out might upset the economy (latest rumour as to why he has played 290 times in a row for us). Anyway that minor quibble aside this column is crossing its bits and pieces for a home win and a decent game.

A quick note on media coverage of the team - mostly it's been harsh but fair. However the Stan/muppet headlines are cheap and obviously take their cue from the vile rubbish served up in English tabloids. The media themselves seem to overstate the importance of the media/team relations too. I reckon your average reader doesn't care about it that much and the media look a smidge self-important/deluded about the whole thing.

Welcome to Iraq

2007-03-22T13:56:00.000Z

The new UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon made his first visit to Iraq today. But a rocket landed inside the Green Zone while he was doing a press conference. He wasn't injured but the pomp, the ceremony, the whole stupid flowers on a podium gig was exposed for the rubbish it is.

In general, politicians look like inane morons when placed in front of national flags so they look regal and in control when their mugs appear in tomorrow's papers. But it's nonsense, photo-op PR-friendly bullshit, designed to present a united front, regardless of what the politicians actually say.

Where is our Orwell?

2007-03-20T22:41:00.000Z

A few days ago on the Guardian website (UK) a journalist asked this question. Leaving aside why he didn't ask it of himself, it's still something worth asking. Four years on since the invasion of Iraq and few journalists from the West are working in the country. Certainly the old idea of novelists trying to write about these massive events has all but disappeared on any credible level.

Many things have been lost in the tragedy; it is also true that free speech, the cornerstone of this 'democracy' Bush claims to be bringing, has not been found. It's too dangerous to be a journalist in Iraq and it is unfair to compare their situation to previous wars, where the enemies and objectives were clearer. Journalists are now pawns for the weak as well as the strong; as likely to be abducted by militias as manipulated by governments. It's sad but so is the whole thing.

But still, some venture. Patrick Cornwell of the Independent being the most notable one. He has worked around Iraq since the beginning. Is he our Orwell? He must be close. The question of course is not simply about names. It's about courage and guts. You need to be a bit nuts. Who is willing to put their neck on the line for often derided causes, for truth, liberty and justice, things that lazy hotel journalists sneer at, things that 'realists' find a way around and things that our doubtless being repressed from Iraq today.

Another who had the spirit of Orwell was Anna Politkovskaya. She was murdered last year, shot in an elevator. Here's an interview from her last book.

Dog day afternoon

2007-03-20T17:23:00.000Z

The Swedes have a reputation for randiness but this wretched stereotype is finding new and strikingly original ways to express itself. Apparently, a teenager in Eastern Sweden was found having sex with his friend's dog. Alas, his chum did not see the funny side of it, and did not quip: not the first dog you've shagged, is it? Feel free to add your own lame humour. Bonus points for references to doggy style.

Underfunding of An Garda Siochana

2007-03-12T16:10:00.000Z

'The election' is looming. Numbers will be an issue. How many people are on trolleys, how many kids are in classrooms, how many gardai are on the beat?

But also, the good people of Ireland are going to want to know how much money is being spent on health, education and crime. The answer, it seems, is not enough.

A serving member of An Garda Siochana is under invstigation for stealing biros from a shop in Monaghan. It's not known if the guard was caught in the act by another guard or by the shopkeeper.

Still it is sad day indeed, isn't Taoiseach, when a member of our own police force, the vast majority of whom don't work in Donegal and are diligent upholders of the mores of our society, must resort to the unarmed robbery of personal ink-dispresal units to fight the war on crime, the war on drugs and all the other wars on things.

Fas advertising

2007-03-06T23:19:00.000Z

I've been meaning to write about this for a while - the ads, on bus-stops and in newspapers, for the FAS Opportunities fair at Croke Park (not an historic occassion for opps fairs, I should add).

Anyway, the young lady enclosed, despite the obvious, is interesting for another reason. FAS for most people means apprenticeships. Trades. And so on.

When was the last time you saw a tradesperson (like that?) such as this well-groomed dame? Doubtless if mechanics looked like her I'd burn out my clutch every week. Of course they don't - so why use her to promote their fair? Attractive women attract young men to things, that should be clear enough if you look at all the TOP MODELS who strip to their knickers to promote everything from road safety to hair loss.

But there's more to it, I think. Media tend to use cleaner cut versions of particulars to highlight general trends. Take the Ryan Tubridy radion show. When they want to ask kids things, they always go to fancy fee-paying schools - hardly representative of Ireland's yuff. Or if they go to a school in town, they dress it up in some ironic presenter/reporter banter, pale, annoying Anto O'Carroller-Kellyer stuff. I might be wrong but it looks like middle class bias in the media.

You just can't get parking in Dublin

2007-03-05T19:38:00.000Z

Dartmouth square is a little park in Ranelagh, Dublin. It used to be owned by the Darley family and used by the public. But the Darley family sold it to a man called Noel O'Gara. And now he doesn't want it to be a park for people.

He was on Pat Kenny today saying that he wanted to turn it into a car park. He wants to provide a service to car-owners who can't get parking in the city centre ("like you Pat," he said). He claims his constitutional rights are being violated - it's his land and he can do what he wants with it. Our grandfathers fought the British for our freedom, so we could own the land, and any attempt to prevent this is illegal, he thinks. I'm writing from memory here, so I'm open to correction if I've misrepresented him.

Anyway, the council got a court order to stop O'Gara from paving over the park. So today he opened a Portable Tiles Showroom in the park. It is ugly. He is putting it up to the council, saying he can do what he likes. The council are now taking legal action on the basis that he is 'misusing' the park.

O'Gara's view that he can do what he likes with the park is nonsense. He tries to invoke history to prove his argument, but simultaneously ignores history - the park has been used by the public a 100 years. Is this worth nothing? Does tradition have no value in Ireland today? Thankfully it does, to judge by the council and public reaction.

O'Gara has no support and doesn't deserve any. Green areas and public space in Dublin are being swallowed up by opportunistic developers like O'Gara. There has to be a limit. People can't do what they like, where they like. The greater good, the public interest comes into this. Never mind parking our cars, we need somewhere to park our arses once in a while. These parks are finite. You don't see anybody buying land to develop it into lakes and playgrounds. So we must protect what we have now, or risk being left with nothing.

Only in Ireland...

2007-02-28T22:53:00.000Z

As a way of welcoming people to Ireland the good people of county Meath are offering English lessons, one night a week, free of charge, to their new neighbours.

It is part of a project called, 'Fáilte Isteach'.

I hate to be make jokes about a sincere effort...but come on!

this is huge

2007-02-22T19:11:00.000Z

George Bush Jnr. will be out of a job and out of the White House late next year. After that, they'll need a replacement. So the election will take place in just under two years. Despite this, American media is mental with news about this election. Surely this is misguided and takes coverage away from issues that would otherwise be deemed newsworthy. Anyway the political pantomine is under way. Check it out. Obama, osama, saddam hussein, a black man who only thinks about whites - that's when he's not SMOKING.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/02/22/fox-news-repeated-attemp_n_41841.html

Of course there is another election taking place - it happens this year. Starts in April in fact, in a country that former U.S secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld, the bloke who goes hunting and shoots his own friends, calls home to a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys - France. More imminent and of big importance vis-a-vis all the terrible conflicts in the world, and some in their own country, the French election pits soft-socialist Segleone Royal (try saying that while eating cheese) against American surrender monkey Nicolas Sarkozy, a man quite determined to clean the scum of the streets. Nasty Nic is in front at the moment, but Mama Royal is so close to him she's catching the spray from his hose. For some reason, this election isn't getting a lot of coverage over here, yet it's only two months away - and to think, a member of the Far-Right (! cue scary music) came second the last time out. Anyway, I'll have more on this as D-day approaches.

And one more thing, the italians are at it again. Prodi has resigned after losing a senate vote on Italy's involvement in Afghanistan (remember this place, nobody talks about it anymore but the Taliban - bad - are still loitering there). So yet another italian government hits the rocks. The average Italian govt lasts about 18 months. "We're a country of madmen," said Foreign Minister Massimo D'Alema. And we love them for it!

Cafe bars

2007-02-19T17:40:00.000Z

The PDs were down in Wexford at the weekend for their pre-election conference and the media were with them, watching, listening, scribbling notes and scabbing free cups of tea and hot-cross buns.

We have a funny relationship with the PDs. Recent opinion polls show them drowning with anywhere between 1 and 3% support. Yet Monday's papers gave them as much, if not more, coverage than was given over to Labour's equivalent conference last week.

Of course, the PDs hold two of the most divisive posts in government so you could say that's why the media turns their amps up so loud. You could also ask why they have so much influence when they have such little support.

Anyway, McDowell was on tele sweating in front of the lights and being the authoratitve voice he undoubtably is. And his pledges were mostly economy based. No stamp duty for first time buyers. A new pensions scheme. Chopping of both tax rates. The type of stuff that will likely appeal to twenty somethings with jobs, cars and debts.

The tax thing is interesting. The PDs will cut high tax rate from 41 to 38% and the low tax rate from 20 to 18%. This means more euros for you and less for the government.

Depending on where you stand this can be a good or a bad thing. Low personal tax usually results in high public tax - bin charges, road tolls and high public transport costs, for example. Now if you have a lot of money and don't need to get the bus, this is great. But if you're an average worker, earning industrial wage, lower taxes will, overall, create the illusion of wealth - high public service costs will soon disolve this illusion. You will quickly learn what a sliced pan costs; people on higher rates still continue oblivious to it.

Looking at public services, it's hard to say that reducing taxes will be benficial. In general, they're not very good.

When they stopped throwing money at us, the PDs resurrected one of their better ideas. The cafe bar.

This McDowell baby has been doing the rounds for a while, but Fianna Fail, eager to keep those boys who pay for their tent at the Galway races happy, shot it down.

Michaeal wants to relax licensing laws so people who set up cafes can apply for alcohol licences. This is normal in European countries. It gives people an alternative to the pub.

Fianna Fail and their publican buds don't want an alternative to the pub. They want you to go to pubs and pay five euro for a drink.

Publicans are smart. They offer everything the continental cafe offers, in general (food, music, tv, waiter services). But they do it badly. Food in pubs is ok but limited and expensive. Music is dodgy, often played by middle-aged men for middle-aged people. Most of the time it's too loud and people are forced to resort to sign language. And tv either can't be seen, can't be heard or annoys everybody who doesn't want to watch.

The cafe-bar (have to add in the bar, don't want to frighten us too much) will do all these things better. For both consumer and community they are a good thing. It's about time we had a chance to talk, eat and drink in moderate ways for moderate prices.

My wealth

2007-02-01T18:39:00.000Z

Budget Travel have an ad on bus-stops at the moment. It is written in WARNING! yellow and red. And it says:

"Not booking a Budget travel holiday will seriously damage your wealth. "

I don't get it.

If I book a holiday, of any sort, I will have to hand over some cash. Then, I will have less cash, or - if you like to use big words when small ones will do - wealth.

If I do NOT book a holiday, my wealth will be the same. I will not have less of it; it will not be damaged.

Of course the ad is meant to render feelings of panic and anxiety in people who get buses to work; that if they don't book two weeks in the baking sun surrounded by whingey kids, horny teens and two-for-one beer promos, their health will suffer drastically. The stress of your normal, working life will kill you. Get away from it all, or something.

Booking a Budget Travel holiday will seriously damage your wealth.

Man vs winter 2007

2007-01-25T15:45:00.000Z

Dublin in January

you know it's cold here, two pairs of socks weather, but i was in town on tuesday night. came outside - baltic conditions - so i headed to centra and got a cuppatea and a mars bar. THE best combination since morrissey met marr. was great, standing waiting on the bus, one glove off, getting sticky caramel on my lips and washing it off with bewleys breakfast tea. Dublin in January. i should have been freezing, but i used my sally and i was warm and cosy. i got one up, i was winning. winter you cunt, fuck off!

The one Ronnie

2007-01-23T00:22:00.000Z

Ronnie O'Sullivan's back story is well known.

But we learnt something new about him last night. There have been hints. In interviews, both in print and on tv, he does not read a script. Answers are not in his head. His feelings speak.

Often he is blunt. He can be offensive. Too spicey for some. Amongst the genteel dawdlings of snooker, he comes across as a rebel. But seen objectively, he is merely an honest man. With himself and with others his assesments can be devastating - usually, they are accurate. The only time he seems to miss the mark is when he plays well; he doesn't know how to say it.

Instead he chooses to be humble, to pass praise to his opponent, or to play down his talents. Crowds gasp, Ronnie shrugs. Yeah I cut a woman in half - so what? The implication to his nonchalance is always that he knows more about snooker than us, so if he doesn't tear off his waistcoat and dance on the table after winning, neither should we.

Fair enough - we can't claim to be better judges of snooker than he. But we do know humility when we see it. We know what affection, maturity, and empathy look like. And we saw it last night.

Ronnie won the UK Masters, blowing his 19 year old off opponent Ding Junhui off the table. All that's in the papers.

What they didn't find the space to write was the dignity Ronnie showed in victory. He shocked Ding, pummelled him, mauled him. Ding was so devastated he thought the match was up to only up to 9. He went to shake Ronnie's hand, looking weak, despondent, on the verge of tears. But the execution wasn't over - the match was up to 10. Ding had just run a marathon with a boulder on his back. And now he was expected to keep going.

Ronnie put his arm around Ding and explained the situation as they walked to the dressing rooms. They looked like brothers at a funeral. Ding's confidence was in a coffin. Ronnie was would soon return and lower the rope.

The next frame was a formality. Ding stood up, bent over, took his shots. But he had nothing left. The crowd, boisterous, aggresive, partisan - unusual in snooker - were fed up. Some got on his back. His eyes rimmed red, his towel squashing periodically to his cheeks, Ding sat and watched Ronnie finish while some in the crowd moaned. They had just seen what Dennis Taylor dubbed 'one of the finest displays of snooker' he had ever seen and still they weren't happy.
Ronnie told them where to go.

"Listen mate," he said, walking around the table, facing down the bigmouth, "if you don't like it, go home." The big brother taking on the bully, and all in that cool, urbane cockney accent.

"If you don't like it, go 'ome."

The crowd roared their approval. A few more shots and the frame and match were safe. Ronnie just had to clear up. Another loudmouth. Ronnie faced him down too. This was Keane Viera stuff, wonderully prickly, exciting sport.

After the match Ronnie went straight to Ding and embraced him. His concern was genuine and warm, it was apt. It was a one guy saying to another - listen mate, I know how it is. Keep your head up.

Any tips?

2007-01-20T23:23:00.000Z

Tipping

Tipping in bars and restaurants is expected in America. Workers are supposed to supplement their wages through the generosity of customers. But notions of generosity are in fact inaccurate. Most restaurants will indicate that they expect a certain percent 'gratuity'. Some even offer to work it out for your convenience. One friend of mine, a cockney - though no less inclined to tip for it - was given the option of paying 10, 15 or 20% gratuity, and the restaurant kindly worked out for him on his receipt what 10, 15, or 20% of his bill would be. His gratuity was not 10, 15, or 20% of his indignation, which still bubbled weeks after this most patronising occasion.

Ireland is not a country that has thought me to tip. Good service is expected. I am grateful for it, but a kind word of thanks is not worthless. Sometimes I tip, sometimes I don't. It's my choice.

Obilgatory tipping is a strange system indeed. People in favour say staff 'work harder' because they are rewarded with tips. But if the tip is listed on the bill as 'added for your convenience', there is no incentive for any waiter or bar person to work harder. Instead of being rewarded for merit, there is a fair chance they will be rewarded for mediocrity. In a place where a tip is not guaranteed, it is much more likely that the staff will work harder. The difference being, of course, that in such places, no employer would ever get away with paying staff three Euro an hour. Employers need something to justify low wages. And tipping is just that.

Despite what I think is a quite logical explanation, there is a feeling of guilt attached to leaving without tipping. In Ireland it should be easier to ignore because we at least have a minimum wage that guarantees regular income to a person. But in America this is not so. Staff genuinely rely on customers. But I knew this girl, from Spain, who ordered a lasagne in a bar. And it looked like it had just been pulled from a cows stomach - it was a horrible, stodgy, lump of pasta drowning in salty red sauce. She couldn't eat it. A companion, an Italian with an innate knowledge of these things, was offended by what he saw on the plate. All agreed it was bad food.

She payed for her food but didn't tip. And I said that a well-paid chef cooked it, and that by not tipping, she was effectively punishing the waitress. She refused to buy into the idea that it was her responsibility to pay the staff a fair wage. And I suppose that's what it comes down to - we know whose job it is to cook and to serve, but who should pay the staff? You or the boss?

America, land of consumer choice and the free market, does not afford you the option of tipping. It is obliged, 'part of the culture'. We should tip because workers are poorly paid and without our tips they can't survive. This is true. Many waiters and barmaids earn about three Euro an hour. But it's also emotional blackmail by proprietors. They are telling customers that, though you might not eat more than a spoonful of dinner, it is mean not to tip.

This is not true. Paying your bill without paying another 10 or 20% is not mean. Three Euro an hour is mean. It's not me, the honest bill payer who is deserving of dirty looks - it is the person who offered somebody a job for such a scant wage, plus tips.